Heartbeats
by RBCrazyFan
Summary: Feelings come, feelings go - but in the second that they exist, they are incredibly powerful. /Title changed from Fleeting Feelings to Heartbeats/. A series of drabbles about the feelings of the characters. Drabble #24 Family: Traci Nash; Drabble #25 Twitch: Andy McNally
1. Jealousy: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

A.N. In my frustration with the next chapter of Out for 'Justice' - someone suggested I try writing drabbles (if you don't know what this means, look it up on Wikipedia) ...this is my attempt.

**Jealousy - Sam Swarek 3X08**

He didn't think he would be like this, ever. If anyone told him two years ago that he would be jealous of a rookie, he would have scoffed at them. Yet, knowing that she was in the room, as an undercover on a 'date' with Collins made him jealous of a rookie. He wanted to shove the rookie aside, to sit across the table from her, on the department paycheck. He shoved the thoughts out of his head. He needed to keep focused on Peck and sending Andy, no, sending _McNally_ a text when Niceguy76 asked for the bill.

**Word Count: 100**

A.N. 2 - Let me know if you have anything specific you want to see - give me a word, a character, and a specific episode (if you want), and I'll see what I can do.

_Next up: Discomfort - Andy McNally 3X08_


	2. Discomfort: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews and suggestions

**Discomfort - Andy McNally 3X08**

She never thought she would find an undercover assignment that would make her as uncomfortable as her first assignment. Then she was assigned to pretend to go on a 'date' with Nick. After giving Gail a pep talk, she gave herself a mental one. It took all of her restraint not to turn to look. Sam, in that leather jacket that she loved - why didn't she insist that she take the other seat? She filled the silence with chatter, Nick was funny, but it wasn't the same. She shifted in her seat, thankful when her phone vibrated : 'GO'.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Useful - Noelle Williams 3X08_

A.N. I'm marking the characters as Sam and Andy because it will mostly be the two of them - and yes, suggestions can be from any episode, not just 3.08


	3. Useful: Noelle Williams

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for the reviews!

**Useful - Noelle Williams 3X08**

It's nice to finally feel useful again. To finally feel like she is actually doing her job instead of sitting around. Yes, the cause is justified, it's something she's wanted her entire life, but still, she feels useless. Training Peck, reverting to 'the Foxy Brown of Undercovers', feels good. Makes her feel like she's actually pulling her weight; makes her feel alive. Pulling Oliver in to 'help' her makes it even better as she hints to him that they are all there for him. And when he tells her that she still has it, that happiness, it won't fade soon.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Anger - Sam Swarek 1X01  
_


	4. Anger: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews

**Anger - Sam Swarek 1X01  
**

In reality, it's not the rookie he should be angry with. Intrinsically, he knows this. He should be angry at both of his friends, Oliver for sending her alone, and Jerry for greeting him. But how can he blast the two men who have always been there for him? So, he takes it out on the rookie, and then he takes it out again on his locker. Until _she_ walks into the locker room. Girl has guts, he'll give her that. And when she continues to press until she gets answers, suddenly he's not as angry anymore. Instead, he's impressed.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up:_ _Love - Sam Swarek 3X07_


	5. Love: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! For ZestyLily12

**Love - Sam Swarek 3X07**

It's not that he doesn't love her. He does. He loves her and his feelings for her run deeper than what he has felt for anyone besides his sister in a really long time. But voicing his feelings, that's another story. Saying those three little words, those eight little letters, it's going to take a lot of hard work and effort for him to tear down his own walls to say it back to her. But there is one thing he knows for certain. He's not going to let it slip out of his mouth at a really weird time.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up:_ _Wanting - Chris Diaz__  
_


	6. Wanting: Chris Diaz

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! For Essehem

**Wanting - Chris Diaz  
**

Right before Dov shot the kid, he mentioned how he had everything. That night and every night since, it was all he could think about. Growing up, he wanted was two things: to have a family and to be a cop. Denise could have fulfilled the 'family' aspect of it but he wasn't ready when she obviously was. The cop part, even that he had almost given up. Priorities shifted, and in the current moment, all he wants is to somehow figure out a way to win Gail back; to show her that Nick is not good enough for her.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up:_ _Fear - Andy McNally 2X12/2X13__  
_


	7. Fear: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! For tiva forever2009-2010

**Fear - Andy McNally - 2X12/2X13**

She thought she knew fear. Before she became a cop, she walked into a house with her father passed out on the floor and feared that he left her for good; always choosing the alcohol over her. As a cop, there were a handful of situations that left her fearful, but they all paled in comparison to this. Viewing the pictures of Brennan's victims, and then finding out Sam was missing, that fear gnawed at her heart. She spent the entire drive to his undercover apartment shaking with fear that he would never be there to smile at her again.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: __Uninhibited - Sam Swarek 3X06_  



	8. Uninhibited: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! For Roseau76

**Uninhibited - Sam Swarek 3X06  
**

With her, and only with her, he let his guard down. He let his playful side come out, the side that disappeared and stayed hidden, never to fully return, side the day Sarah was attacked. But with Andy, things are different. Things are easier, they fit. He wants to show her all of his characteristics, so when she tries to make a move to grab the cupcake, he lets go and does what he had done to Sarah years ago. When she flings the flour in retaliation... they would have had an all out food fight had Claire not interrupted.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Responsibility - Frank Best 3X09  
_


	9. Responsibility: Frank Best

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Responsibility - Frank Best 3X09**

Responsibility comes with rank, he of all people knows that. Jerry is killed on the job and then he discovers that Noelle gave birth in the same hospital. As soon as he can, he makes his way to her and meets his child for the first time, with the weight of the world on his shoulders. It is his responsibility to ruin the happiest day for the woman he loves, it is his responsibility to tell her that their friend died in the line of duty. Not tonight, tonight is about their new daughter, he'll tell her in the morning.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Guilt - Sam Swarek 3X09 _


	10. Guilt: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! I saw a one-shot with the same title went up - I wanted to get this out before I read that.

**Guilt - Sam Swarek 3X09**

He played with the watch, wondering when the day had gone wrong. There were so many ways he could have played the day differently, so many ways that would not have led to this - Andy sitting next to Traci as Traci mourned the death of her fiancé. He could have insisted that Jerry take someone with him; that Andy go with someone else and he could have gone with Jerry. But no, he put his girlfriend in front of his best friend, and now his best friend was gone. This guilt would stay with him for a long time.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up:_ _Sorrow - Andy McNally 3X09_


	11. Sorrow: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Sorrow - Andy McNally 3X09  
**

She knew that it didn't look good the second that Sam kicked the door down. As soon as the medics got Jerry into the ambulance, she tried to call Traci and continued to try to reach her friend to no avail. When they finally got an update from the doctor, she was devastated, and Traci chose that moment to appear. As her best friend, Andy tried to reign in her own sorrow to deliver the crushing blow to her friend, but ended up cracking. Still, she reached for Traci and held her best friend close as her best friend mourned.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up:_ _Numb - Traci Nash 3X09_


	12. Numb: Traci Nash

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! For margie311

**Numb - Traci Nash 3X09  
**

She was numb. There was no other word to describe it. Jerry, the man who made her an 'elephant' was gone. No more good morning kissing in lieu of talking, no more gentle caresses, no more "go for Jerry"s. Her tears had subsided hours ago, she had none left, and all that was left was this numbness, this disbelief about the whole situation. She couldn't even recall what they spoke about their last time on the phone. She knew when the numbness faded she would be in a deep depression, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Friendship - Sam Swarek 3X09  
_


	13. Friendship: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! 2 more 3X09 after this one and then moving on to 3X10

**Friendship - Sam Swarek 3X09**

Sometimes you don't even realize how important someone is to you until they are gone. At the station, people always assumed that he was closer to Oliver but in reality, he was closer to Jerry. Oliver always had a strong support system, whereas he and Jerry leaned on each other so many times. And now, his best friend was gone. No more dreams about days off with the Barber and Swarek families hanging out together, about plotting to surprise their wives together. Andy was quickly becoming his best friend but Jerry's friendship was a void that would never fully heal.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up:_ _Unfair - Andy McNally post 3X09_


	14. Unfair: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! Real life got in the way...

**Unfair - Andy McNally post 3X09**

It wasn't fair. Traci had a hard life. Teenage pregnancy, Dex being a douche so she'd practically raised Leo alone. Then Traci started at the police academy. She'd fallen for her instructor. Andy didn't think it would last, until she saw Jerry's hangdog look when Traci tried with Dex. Jerry's proposal had been corny, but whatever he said to Traci in the locker room made the world of a difference. Her friend was happy and she was thrilled that everything was working in Traci's favor. It was unfair that weeks before the wedding, Jerry was torn away from them brutally.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up:_ _Ultimate Sacrifice - Jerry Barber 3X09_


	15. Ultimate Sacrifice: Jerry Barber

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews! Any ideas/suggestions for other drabbles, let me know.

**Ultimate Sacrifice - Jerry Barber 3X09**

He felt the blood slowly seeping out of his body. He knew that there was still some time - if he could make it to the hospital soon, he had a chance to survive. He pulled out his phone to call Sam when he heard Perik yelling 'you're a cop'. Suddenly he realized that Perik did in fact have Gail. Making a split second decision, he turned the GPS on instead of calling Sam and used the last of his remaining strength to pull himself up. He had one shot to get this right, one shot at saving Gail's life.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Heartbreak - Andy McNally 3X10  
_


	16. Heartbreak: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Heartbreak - Andy McNally 3X10  
**

She knew that she should go back into the Penny to comfort Traci but she couldn't bring herself to move. She had gone through so many heartbreaks in her life, it was the reason she chose Luke in the first place. And now the one person who promised to fight for them just broke her heart. Maybe she was destined to be alone forever. Maybe she just wasn't loveable material. She briefly toyed with the idea of asking to be transferred but right now her friends needed her and even though her heart was broken, she wouldn't break their hearts.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Untouchable - Sam Swarek 3X13_


	17. Untouchable: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Untouchable - Sam Swarek 3X13  
**

The fact that he can't pull her aside when they arrive at the scene starts to get to him. She's untouchable and all he wants to do is pull her into his arms. He wants to touch her cheek to make sure she's okay, wants to pull her into his arms and kiss her, just to reassure himself that she is fine, that it is just a bruise. But he can't, she's untouchable to him and he brought that on himself. Maybe Oliver is right. Maybe after shift he needs to talk to her, make things right again between them.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Wait - Nick Collins - post 3X13  
_


	18. Wait: Nick Collins

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Wait - Nick Collins - post 3X13  
**

All he can do is hope that she will wait. Every time he saw her he fought the urge to kiss her. He knew that he was going undercover but figured that if she lost her job, she'd go to Europe and he'd find her when he finished. But now, with the op pushed up, he doesn't even have time to say goodbye to her, to find out if her badge is being taken away. All he can do is hope that she will wait for him. At least he got to give her one last kiss; just in case.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Wait - Andy McNally - post 3X13  
_


	19. Wait: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Wait - Andy McNally - post 3X13**

She can't expect him to wait for her. Hindsight is twenty twenty and she did what she does best; she fled. She should have said no to Luke, or at least figured out how to get a message to him, to tell him that she had to go under. As she and Nick are dropped off at their cover apartment, she realizes that he is probably waiting for her at the Penny. That is the key. _He is waiting for her_. But how long will he wait? She hopes he will wait for her but she can't expect him to.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Wait - Sam Swarek - post 3X13_


	20. Wait: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Wait - Sam Swarek - post 3X13**

He's sitting at the Penny with Gail when it finally hits him that she's not coming. Of course, a week later, Frank's 'mandatory leave' lie becomes apparent and he does a little digging. He finds out that she is under with Nick and is glad to know that at least they sent someone competent in with her to have her back. He will silently follow the case; he will wait for her to return. And when she does, he will make sure to fulfill all of the promises he made to her, including getting a dog if she wants one.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Wait - Gail Peck - post 3X13_


	21. Wait: Gail Peck

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Wait - Gail Peck - post 3X13**

She doesn't know what to think when he doesn't show up at the Penny and is even more lost the next morning when she finds a sealed envelope in her locker from him telling her that he went under but he would find her when he was finished. When Frank told her that she would be getting her job back she needed someone to talk to - she needed to talk to him. She really wasn't sure that she wanted her badge back. But he was gone and she didn't know if she'd be able to wait for him again.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Name - Andy McNally - post 3X13_


	22. Name: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Name - Andy McNally - post 3X13  
**

When she first joined the force, part of her goal was to clear the McNally name. It still is a goal of hers. It's the reason she agreed to this task force even though she knew that she really needed to talk to Sam first.

Two months in and she's rethinking her decision. Yes, clearing the McNally name is important, but at what cost? She hates living in poverty; she hates not being with Sam. Sure, Nick's great and they're becoming best friends but she wants her man back and who knows...maybe she won't carry the McNally name forever.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Blurt - Sam Swarek - 3X13  
_


	23. Blurt: Sam Swarek

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Blurt - Sam Swarek - 3X13**

He can't believe he said it like that. He always told himself that when he told Andy those three little words he would say it at an appropriate time, unlike the way she said them. Instead, she's holding a bomb, she could die, they could both die, and he blurts out 'I love you'. But now he has crossed that bridge. Saying those three words was hard but now that he said it once, he knows he will be able to say them to her again and again; he will be able to show her that he really means it.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Family - Traci Nash - post 3X13_


	24. Family: Traci Nash

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Family - Traci Nash - post 3X13**

Seeing Leo running towards her yelling "Mommy" makes her realize what she almost gave up for her career. Luke is right. She has a family, she has something to come home to every night. Even though Jerry is gone, she still has her little boy who needs his mommy in his life. She's glad that Luke said she didn't have time - otherwise she might have said yes and then she would not be able to see her son for months. He just lost Jerry, a man he considered a second father, she won't let him lose her as well.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Twitch - Andy McNally - 3X13  
_


	25. Twitch: Andy McNally

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

Thanks for all the reviews!

**Twitch - Andy McNally - 3X13**

Hand wrapped around the bomb, holding the trigger, she knows she has to get Katie out before she can think about anything else, even as her hand shakes slightly. Once Nick takes Katie out, all she can think about is how one wrong move, one twitch, can end her life. She sees Sam holster his weapon and panic fills her. Despite everything that happened, she's lying to everyone when she says she's over him. She's not. And he can't die on her account. "Sam, you don't have to be here." She doesn't want him here, in case her hand twitches.

**Word Count: 100**

_Next up: Homeward Bound - Andy McNally - pre-4X01  
_

_I'm marking this story as complete for now...I will pick it up again closer to season 4 - but you can still send me prompts.  
_


End file.
